About This Love Online

Marriage is a journey that starts with high hopes and boundless enthusiasm. Much like the initial excitement of starting a new hobby, newlyweds often enter marriage optimistic and ready to take on the world together. However, the realities of daily life can sometimes temper this enthusiasm. Let’s explore what it means to take marriage seriously over the long haul, based on insights from a candid conversation we had during the About This Love podcast, episode 51.

The Initial Optimism and Reality Check

Many people approach marriage with the same zeal as starting a new fitness routine at the start of a new year. In the beginning, there’s a lot of excitement and commitment. But just as gym attendance can dwindle over time, so can the effort one may put into their marriage. This doesn’t mean the love is gone; it simply means that the initial fervor is fading, and the routine of daily life is taking over.

Over time, couples often realize that maintaining a strong marriage requires ongoing effort and adjustments. We’ve all heard the saying before, “A good marriage takes work.”. Well, once the work starts to become challenging, a couple might find that they’ve bitten off more than they can chew. Leading to a shift in their view of their spouse and efforts towards the relationship. Recognizing this is the first step toward reigniting that initial commitment and working together to keep the relationship strong.

Indicators of Serious Commitment

One term that came up in this particular podcast episode was the “love spark,” which refers to visible signs of affection and love between long-married couples. While not a definitive measure of a person’s love for their spouse, it can indicate to outsiders the ongoing affection and effort from one or both partners. However, expressions of love and affection vary widely among couples. Some might show love through public displays of affection, while others prefer more private expressions that may only make sense to their unique relationship.

Making personal adjustments is a significant part of taking marriage seriously. For instance, learning to communicate more considerately or adjusting personal habits to be more in tune with a partner’s preferences can demonstrate a deep commitment to the relationship.

Another crucial aspect is being intentional about spending time together and making decisions that prioritize the relationship. This intentionality can manifest in various ways, such as planning regular date nights or discussing and aligning future goals.

The Importance of Communication and Understanding

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage. Discussing expectations, future plans, and daily routines can help couples understand and align with each other’s needs. Respecting each other’s preferences, whether it’s about spending more time together or recognizing the need for personal space.

Marriage is not a one-time effort nor is it a one-size fits all but a continuous unique journey. It requires constant work being put in, adaptation, and sometimes putting the partner’s needs before one’s own. We are reminded of this Christ like characteristic in Philippians 2:3, “³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”. This ongoing commitment not only to the martial vows but to put your spouse before yourself is what sustains a marriage through the ups and downs of life if both partners hearts are willing.

Taking marriage seriously involves a daily balance of effort, communication, and intentional actions. Each couple has their unique way of expressing love and commitment, and understanding these differences is key to a healthy relationship. By being intentional, making personal adjustments, and maintaining open communication, couples can keep the love spark alive and build a strong, lasting marriage.

Remember, the journey of marriage is ever-evolving, and it’s the continuous, small efforts that make a big difference. Whether through grand gestures or simple daily acts of love, taking your marriage seriously means continually investing in your relationship, cherishing your partner, and growing together.

How do you and your partner maintain the ‘love spark’ in your marriage? What intentional actions or personal adjustments have made the biggest difference in your relationship? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!